


Finding the Light in the Dark

by melaninkick



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kind of rushed, My First Fanfic, One Shot, POV Alternating, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), References to Sex, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 06:24:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14443275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melaninkick/pseuds/melaninkick
Summary: Set after Captain America: Civil WarBucky and Wanda find the comfort in each other they couldn't find anywhere else.





	Finding the Light in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fan fiction I've ever written please enjoy! (and don't blame me if it's bad lol)
> 
> Happy Infinity War Day! (in the US at least)
> 
> ***In this story Bucky doesn't go to Wakanda and he still has his metal arm

When he and Steve had gone to rescue the witch and the others, she cried when she saw them. At first he thought it was from relief, but soon learned it was from shame. She did not want to leave. She believed that she deserved to be there. 

Steve had to all but pull her out of the cell, tear off her straight jacket, and carry her out of the raft, into the awaiting jet. The whole plane ride out of the country, Bucky and the four other men had to listen to Wanda cry and scream while trying to reason with them that she deserved to be locked up. Tony and Ross and the entire world were right about her, she said. Everything was her fault. Sokovia and Nigeria, even the death of her own twin brother, who would still be alive had she not put the idea of Ultron into the head of Tony Stark.

She would be okay, Steve told Bucky, she was strong.

She didn’t leave her room at the hostel they were hiding out in just outside Lisbon, Portugal, the first couple of days. Sam had to force her to open her door twice a day so he could give her a glass of water and pieces of meat and bread. Steve explained that she probably felt safer alone in her room, where she knew she couldn’t hurt anyone.

After about a week she started to come into the common space. No one knew why, but no one questioned it. Everyone was just glad she finally felt that she belonged with them and not locked away in some cell.

She mostly interacted with Steve, Sam, and Clint around the hostel, having only met Scott and him recently at the airport. But Bucky would often find her staring at him, looking deep in thought when she thought no one was looking. Whenever he caught her in the act, she would bite her lip and quickly look away. Bucky liked that reaction.

The only clothes they had with them were what they were wearing when they fled America and what Scott was able to steal for them from the little boutiques and stores at the town next to their hostel. He would always bring Wanda red or black dresses and skirts as that was what she preferred. She liked to show off her legs. Bucky noticed.

He also noticed her begin to feel more comfortable as the days passed. She would crack a smile when Clint said something sarcastic, she would drop in some commentary when they gathered around the kitchen table discussing their next point of action and whether or not they should try contact Tony again. Bucky even caught her laughing once at one of Scott’s dumb jokes.

One day it was just her and him in the hostel. Clint and Scott went into town to get more food and clothes while Steve and Sam went to meet a contact they thought could possibly give them intel on what Stark and Ross were up to. Both Bucky and Wanda hadn’t left the hostel since they arrived, neither of them trusted themselves to be around others.

It was his first time alone with her. He left the room he shared with Steve and Sam to find her sitting alone at the kitchen table deep in thought. Her shoulders were bare. She usually wore a red cardigan with the black dress she had on, but today she did not. He liked when she showed skin, he had to stop himself from staring.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked a little too loudly, wincing at the sound of his own voice in the otherwise silent room, as he walked passed the table to the cabinets to look for some food.

“James, you scared me,” she said with an awkward laugh, “I don’t think we have anymore food left,” she continued when she realized what he was looking for, “think that's why Scott and Clint went into town today.”

Bucky took a second to appreciate the sound of the word “James” coming from her lips in her soft and sultry accented voice. Steve had introduced him to her as Bucky, mentioning that his first name was James. No one called him James, not even back before the war, but he liked that she did. To Steve he was Bucky, to the others he was Barnes, to some he was still the Winter Soldier, but to her he was James. Only to her he was James. He liked that.

He grabbed a cup from the cabinet, filled it with water from the faucet before walking over to the table and taking the seat across from her.

“So what were you thinking about,” he asked again, trying to meet her green eyes with his blue.

She looked into her lap nervously. “I’m not sure you’ve noticed James, but I haven’t used my powers since you and Steve rescued me from Agent Ross.” He had noticed. She continued, “I don’t trust that I can control them. I used to use them for bad but even after I joined the Avengers, when I was trying to be good, I still hurt people. She sighed softly, “anyways I was just thinking about ways I could possibly practice control a bit more in a safe way."

He was quiet for a minute, silently trying to urge her eyes to look up from her lap and meet his. “Trust me, Wanda I know all about craving control.”

She finally looked up and met his eyes. “Yes, Natasha gave me your file to read before I met you, before everything went down with her, Tony, Rhodes, and Vision.” She smiled at him softly, looking a bit nervous as if she worried he would disapprove of her reading his file.

He liked that she cared about his reaction.

“So what did you come up with? How are you going to practice with your powers?”

She didn’t respond for a while, biting her lip, mulling over how best to explain it to him. “James, I don’t try to read people’s minds, I don’t, but sometimes if their thoughts are too loud I can’t help but hear and see, sometimes even feel what their thinking about and what they have seen.”

He was beginning to understand what she was implying. He leaned back in his chair, took a deep breath and turned his head to the side to avoid eye contact. “You mean my mind don’t you?” he asked, looking back at her.

“Yes James, I’m really sorry I didn’t mean-“

“What did you see?” he ask abruptly cutting her off. He didn’t miss the way she jumped a little at the raise of his voice. "I've been thinking a lot about what I did to Howard Stark and his wife recently, is that what you saw?”

“Well yes, that and more. Again I’m so sorry I invaded your privacy."

He stood up from the chair, ran a frustrated hand over his face and began pacing across the kitchen. "No I’m sorry that you have to see that shit Wanda. My head is so fucked up, I don’t want you to have to see and feel what I went through when I was being controlled by Hydra.”

She was quite for a moment, trying to sort out her thoughts.

Bucky took advantage of the silence and continued his questioning. “How long have you been looking into my mind? Since we rescued you?”

Wanda couldn’t tell if he was mad at her or worried for her. Probably both. She couldn’t blame him. She would be furious if she found out someone had been looking through her head and saw the shit she went through since volunteering for Hydra. Saw all the fucked up things they did to her and her body while she lay strapped to a metal table. Combining what used to be her body and mind with alien artifacts they didn’t even understand until they were left with a result that was suitable to them; a girl capable of mass destruction. A girl who could no longer tell what parts of her were hers and what parts Hydra had mutilated to make her become what she is today.

“It wasn’t from the beginning I promise. But when I was alone in my room those first few days we were here, James, your thoughts were screaming. I couldn’t ignore them.”

“That’s why you finally came out of your room after locking yourself in there? None of us knew what changed, but it was because of me?” He questioned. “You need to stay the fuck out of my head Wanda, I don’t want you inside there, no one needs to see that.”

Okay, he was angry she concluded. But she wasn’t done. “James I think I can help you. That’s what I meant before. I want to practice controlling my powers by helping you gain peace of mind,” she said softly, looking into his eyes. Her desperate eyes locking with his doubtful ones.

At this point he had stopped pacing around the kitchen and had taken post behind the chair he was just sitting in, leaning over over gripping the top of the chair so hard, Wanda was surprised it hadn’t split in half yet. 

“Please James. Let me just try. The minute one of us feels uncomfortable I promise I’ll stop. Just let me try please, I really believe that this could help both of us,” she said looking at him the way she used to look at her brother when she was trying to convince him to do something.

He was speechless for a minute. Trying to balance the need to please her with the need to protect her from the mess that was his mind. Finally when he squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, she knew she had him.

“Okay fine, we’ll try it, but the minute I want to stop we’ll stop,” he decided. 

She gave him a small smile, suddenly a little nervous that she was granted the responsibility of reaching into his thoughts and memories.

She got up from the table in the kitchen and made her way to the living room, gesturing for Bucky to follow her. When they got to the living room she pointed for him to lay on the couch while she pulled up a neighboring chair closer to the couch.

“So how does this actually work?” he asked her while he got comfortable, resting his head on throw pillow seated on the couch.

She gave him a nervous smile. “This is actually my first time using mental manipulation for good and not destruction. My hope is that I can force your mind to think of your happy memories whenever your brain begins to wonder to your memories as the Hydra Asset. Hopefully that will help with your anxiety and the nightmares I know you’ve been having.”

“Will it take away all the memories I had while I was under their control?"

“No. Well I could probably do that if you want me to. But my plan was to just pair the bad with the good so the bad won’t be so bad anymore,” she attempted to explain.

“No it’s okay, I don’t want that. What I did as the Winter Soldier is terrible but I need to keep those memories with me. It’s a part of who I am.”

She understood that. It would be unfair to the people whose lives she ruined while she was working with Hydra and Ultron if she relieved herself of the guilt she carries for it. She deserves that guilt, she knows that.

“Okay close your eyes and try to relax.”

She let out a deep breath after she saw his eyelids fall and positioned her hands above his head ready dive into his psyche. 

She mentally urged him to focus on the troubling memories of when he was on a Hydra assigned mission as the Asset. He complied and she was immediately taken back by the sudden feeling of malice and violence. She focused on a visual memory of Bucky as the Winter Soldier, she saw pliers in his hand as he looked over the withering body of a man on the ground who was holding his mouth as blood rushed out, obviously experiencing the pain of just having your teeth ripped out at the hands of the Winter Soldier.

She quickly moved to a different image and started shivering from the cold as saw Bucky driving a motorcycle down a snowy road before firing a bullet into the car in front of her. This was the image she had seen in Bucky’s head many times before; when he had killed Tony Stark’s parents.

After weaving through his memories as the Winter Soldier a little more, Wanda moved on and began to focus on his more pleasant thoughts and memories.

She felt an overwhelming sense of joy as she watched a young Bucky playing with his younger sisters in the Great Depression torn Brooklyn streets. She also focused on a carefree, Bucky and a small and sickly Steve Rogers in their young adult years.

Without even seeking it out, she was suddenly hit by a new idea in Bucky’s head. This one wasn’t a memory, it was a thought, a fantasy. Wanda saw herself in a flash of images. She saw herself smiling and laughing, looking happy. Then the mood shifted. She saw herself on her knees, then on her back; wearing nothing more than a pair of white lace panties. She was in front of Bucky, exposed for him and only him.

She knew Bucky realized what she saw in his head when she felt his hand clamp over wrist, trying to get her attention and force her out of his thoughts.

She continued to look even though she felt him trying to urge her out. She wasn’t sure if it was out of curiosity, or if it was to satisfy the heat she was beginning to feel between her legs; a feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Seeing herself in such compromising positions and knowing that this was something he thought about often, caused her breath to pick up. She wasn’t sure if the lust she was feeling was her own or if she was feeling what was playing out in his mind. She didn’t care, it was probably both. She wanted exactly what she was seeing. She wanted him.

She opened her eyes and willed him to understand what she wanted. Needed. “James, please," she whimpered breathlessly, her hot breath blowing over his ear. He was still laying on the couch but she had moved from the chair onto her knees in order to get closer to him. He liked her on her knees.

He knew what she wanted but he still hesitated. Not only did he not trust the half of his mind that might still belong to the soldier. He also didn’t trust the part of his mind that hadn’t felt the touch of a woman since World War Two.

After a few seconds he sat up on the couch, grabbed her hands, and pulled her onto her feet with him.

He rested his forehead against hers while wrapping his arms around her small frame. "Have you done this before," he asked softly into her ear, eyes fluttering when felt her hand reach up and begin to lightly pull on his hair.

“Yes,” she whispered, "the Sokovian streets were rough, the men were rough. I like rough I think.”

His arms tightened around her, one human thumb digging into her shoulder, and one metal thumb digging into her hip. He could do rough.

She whimpered at the contact biting her lip. 

The metal hand that was at her hip began to slip down and make its way under her dress then back up, caressing the soft skin of her thigh. Her lips parted from the cold against her warmth. The human hand that was at shoulder reached up to tangled in her hair. He pulled her head back and saw her eyes flicker red when she looked up at him. 

He groaned when his metal hand finally came in contact with the lace panties she had on under her dress. He wanted to know what color they were. He was going to find out.

“Please," she whispered again, pulling his head down closer to hers and reaching around with her other arm to his waist to pull their bodies closer to one another.

He wanted to take away her pain. She wanted to take away his. They wanted to be better for each other and for themselves.

Finally. Their lips came together.

It was hot and fast and rough. 

It was lips and teeth and tongue.

It was two broken souls coming together, trying to find light in the dark world they both believed they helped to created.


End file.
